Couples

About this book

From the renowned clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr. Orna Guralnik, of the acclaimed series Couples Therapy, a groundbreaking exploration of our most intimate relationships--and how understanding them can transform the way we see ourselves and the world Falling in love changes everything. It opens us up--to hope, inspiration, and the possibility of caring deeply for another. Yet folded into this miracle is an unavoidable reality: Sooner or later, the central crisis of every relationship emerges--your partner is not you. What matters may not be a couple's perfect compatibility but their capacity to tolerate difference; can they stay curious when wounded, communicate truths, and forgive each other's failures? All qualities in perilously short supply in our contemporary world. What are the forces that bring people together and then pull them apart? What does it take to choose love? In Couples, Dr. Orna Guralnik draws on decades as a psychologist, academic, and couples therapist to peel back the underlying layers of intimate relationships. Tensions over sex, money, parenting, and the division of labor are rooted in much deeper issues. In Couples, we learn a process grounded in psychoanalytic listening that allows us to break free from the repetitive patterns we reenact with one another. Being alongside Dr. Guralnik in actual sessions with many of her couples, we see how moving from a furious state of blame to a place of empathy requires venturing into the unconscious--our childhoods, the traumas we bear, and the ways in which we are held hostage by deeper forces of culture and ideology. Following this path, we stand to gain not only a deeper bond with our partner but also the capacity to see the world through the eyes of another. The work we do in our most intimate relationships can reverberate far beyond them, joining the forces that mend this troubled world. Riveting and revolutionary, Couples shows that the conflict and redemption inherent in relationships can be among the most profound opportunities of our lives.